She asked if I had been practicing every day. I told her no. She said that because I’d told the truth she’d let me off with a warning this time, but next time she’d have to give me a spanking. She had such a sweet demeanor that I honestly thought she was joking. It didn’t help that she smiled when she said it. Of course I proceeded to blow off practice for another week. When I arrived at her house on Monday, the first thing she did was ask me if I had been practicing. With last week’s warning in mind, I said yes, of course I’d been practicing, though it quickly became obvious that I hadn’t been when I wasn’t playing any better than last week. She stopped me halfway through an exercise and told me to stand up. I did as she said, feeling rather guilty. It seemed as though the sweet house wife that taught me piano had been replaced by an angry nun. She had me kneel on the piano bench with my hands resting on the keyboard cover. Then she told me to lift up my skirt. Like a good Catholic. I audibly said, “Wow.”I continued dancing with my eye on her for awhile, but I had no intentions of approaching. She was older and the hottest girl in the room and I was a babydyke alone at my first gay bar. So I let it go and just kept dancing. I couldn’t believe I was actually there, surrounded by other girls who like girls. In spite of my lonely awkwardness, it felt like coming home.Then by chance, we made eye contact. She smiled. I smiled back. Then suddenly she was heading my way and I couldn’t believe what was happening. She came up and said hi and we started dancing. Beyoncé’s “Get Me Bodied” was on, and I knew the whole music video dance to it, so we laughed and danced and laughed. She shouted over the music to me, “You’re awesome!” There was such sincerity in her voice. It was years ago, but I know I will never forget that moment. My infant gay heart needed to hear those words right then. It was like she saw all my insecurities and doubts about being gay and being loveable,.
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